Our world emphasizes fixing weaknesses. We see ads for health, skin care, self-care, creating better boundaries. This list goes on and on. It’s easy to overlook the power of focusing on strengths. Helping someone identify their strengths isn’t just a kind gesture, it’s a transformative one. Whether you’re a coach, therapist, teacher, manager, friend, or parent, guiding someone to discover what they’re naturally good at can spark confidence, motivation, and a deeper sense of purpose. When we support others in realizing what they excel at, we provide them with tools for success, happiness, and resilience. So how do you find that person’s strengths when they don’t see them?

Here’s how you can help others see and embrace their unique abilities.

1. Notice What Lights Them Up

One of the easiest ways to spot a person’s strengths is by observing when they’re most engaged. Pay attention to:

• What activities they lose track of time doing

• When they speak passionately or with confidence

• Moments they naturally take the lead or help others

These are clues. When people feel energized by what they’re doing, it’s often a sign they’re using their strengths.

2. Offer Specific, Positive Feedback – Not Praise

Vague compliments don’t go far. Instead, give feedback that highlights specific actions and their positive impact. For example:

“You are a person that doesn’t give up easily, you’ll keep trying now matter how many times it takes.”
“You’re great at noticing when someone’s struggling and stepping in with support. That’s a rare and valuable quality.”

This kind of recognition helps people see their abilities through someone else’s eyes and to be able to put words to the characteristics. When individuals know their capabilities, they can tap into those qualities when needed. Also, self-awareness is linked with higher confidence and decision-making, two key ingredients for positive change.

“Praise is fleeting whereas affirmations help the person take the understanding of their own personal strengths and apply them in other areas of their life. ”

This is different from praise. Praise is offering your own approval or opinion of their behavior (e.g. “Good job at not giving up.”). Praise is fleeting whereas affirmations help the person take the understanding of their own personal strengths and apply them in other areas of their life.

3. Ask Strengths-Focused Questions

Sometimes people just need a little prompting to reflect on their strengths. Ask questions like:

“When do you feel most confident?”
“What has gotten you through tough times in the past?”
“What do others usually come to you for help with?”
“What tasks do you find easy that others find hard?”

Encouraging self-reflection fosters self-awareness and reinforces a positive internal narrative.

4. Create a Strengths-Based Environment

Model what it looks like to value and leverage strengths. Make it a habit to acknowledge each person’s contributions and encourage collaboration that allows everyone to shine in their own way. Start by fostering trust and openness. Let the person know that this is a journey towards self-discovery and that you are there to support them. Create a comfortable space for them to express thoughts without fear of judgment.

5. Celebrate Progress, Not Just Talent

Strengths aren’t just what someone is naturally good at — they’re also what can be developed with passion and effort. Celebrate growth and perseverance just as much as innate ability. It reinforces the belief that strengths can evolve and expand over time.

Final Thoughts

Helping someone identify their strengths is one of the most empowering gifts you can offer. It builds confidence, supports change, and often sets people on a path to deeper fulfillment. By being a mirror, a guide, and a champion for others, you help them see what they may not yet see in themselves.

So, what steps will you take to support someone in discovering their strengths? Download our free PDF list of strengths that can serve as a handy guide in this invaluable process. This tool will assist you and them in undertaking the exciting journey of self-discovery together. Remember: every person has unique strengths waiting to be uncovered. Your role is to help them on this enlightening path.

Helping Others Discover Their Strengths: A Guide to Empowerment